making long-distance work

If I've only learned one thing this past year, it's easy to pinpoint exactly what it is.
Long distance relationships take work.
Yeah, I know. Most people probably think that's a given, but seriously, there's so much more to it.

When you're in a long-distance relationship, you have to learn very quickly how to communicate well.
Texts can be misconstrued. Facebook is shallow. And, the lack of face time can really hurt.
But, if you learn to transcend those obstacles, you'll be stronger than ever.

You've probably heard of the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship.
Both parties are blissfully unaware of the others' faults, and everything is kosher.
Eventually though, we discover those little details, and we decided whether we can move past them.
With long distance rearing its ugly head,
Ryan and I hit the end of that honeymoon phase within a few months.

We definitely had something, but having come out of a failed relationship before, I was guarded.
Ryan and I actually broke up for a few weeks at that point.
Now, for some, that's a warning sign.
For me, it was a wakeup call.

Not having someone to call in the wee hours of the morning hurt my heart.
Missing those funny Facetime conversations that left me laughing for hours hurt my soul.
I quickly discovered something amazing:
 I missed my best friend

Those few weeks made Ryan and I really re-evaluate what we were looking for.
It made me look within myself and find out why I was so guarded.
It made us learn to communicate more effectively.
It taught us to validate each other more than we might have in person.
Most of all though, it taught us that we could make this work because we wanted it to.

I'd be lying if I said that long distance relationships don't suck.
Because they really, really do.
But here's the thing.

You can make your long distance relationship work FOR you.

Every relationship takes work, passion, commitment and caring. 
Without having your loved one in person means you need to commit yourself tenfold.
If you can do that, and you can do so willingly and happily,
You, as a couple, can do anything.
And, in that way, long distance relationships can actually bring you closer.

8 comments

  1. did i just read my life story? Same thing happened with me and the hubs and just like you it wasn't a warning sign but a WAKE up call.

    it sounds like you guys have figured it out though:)

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    1. It's amazing that so many people experience the same things! It's been hard, but it's oh-so worth it :)

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  2. I think every relationship takes work.... but long distance takes a lot! So props to you honey you're doing excellent. he's such a lucky guy to have you! xo

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    1. SO true! I think every relationship comes with its own challenges, for sure

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  3. i did distance for the first year dating Brad while he was in DC and I was in Oregon. if you want it to work it will, still doesn't mean it will be easy all the time.

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  4. I did long distance for a lot of my dating life with my husband and we learned how to communicate so much better! It takes patience and hard work but its worth it!

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  5. Great post. I dated my now husband long distance for a few years. We had hallmark goodbyes each time that just DRAINED me but I am so glad we stuck it out. Actually, at one point we broke up too because my husband (who I like to think was a tad immature back then) told me he knew he either needed to marry me or "dump" me because the distance was just too hard and since he wasn't ready for marriage (good thing because he really wasn't :)) he DUMPED me. No worries, he learned he couldnt live without me, so we got back together and the rest is history! I blogged recently about the honeymoon phase in our marriage, too- if you get a chance check it out. :)

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  6. Amen sista! Just because it might take more work doesn't mean it isn't worth it!

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