guest post from amanda: l-o-v-e

Hi there, Loving Life Moore readers! I'm Amanda and I blog over at Voyage of the MeeMee


When Melissa put the word out that she was looking for guest posters, I jumped at the chance to be one of them. I’m so honored that she’s allowing me to be a part of her blog because I’m a huge fan of it (Melissa is the bomb dot com and her blog is an accurate reflection of that). I hope I do her proud! :)

Melissa asked her guest posters to write about love, relationships, etc. which I think is such a cute theme as she’ll be getting married and going on her honeymoon when these bad boys hit the world wide web. I’m proud to say that I’m in a happy and healthy relationship now, but, it hasn’t always been that way. I struggled a LOT with relationships in previous years. While some of the lessons I’ve learned were learned the hard way, I’m still grateful for them and I thought I would use this opportunity to share them with you.

Leave your past relationships in the past. I know this is easier said than done… believe me, I do – it’s an absolute must though. Many of my relationships/potential relationships failed because I expected to be treated the same way as I had been in the past, which was poorly. I pushed good men away and pulled bad men in. While I think it’s wise to be cautious, I also think it’s senseless to hold someone else accountable for anyone’s actions but their own.

Operate as an adult. I’ll admit to you that up into my early 20’s I was still that girl that would hang up and call her boyfriend back a million times until he answered. Looking back, I’m embarrassed. That isn’t cute. It’s annoying. It’s immature. If you’re aiming for an adult relationship you need to behave like an adult, it’s as simple as that. Grow up, or the growth potential of your relationship will be stunted as well.

Vocalize what you want and need from your partner to your partner. Granted, certain behaviors should go without saying (being respected, etc), however, we’re all unique and therefore have different expectations when it comes to what our vision of a healthy relationship is. People aren’t mind readers. If you treat them as though they are then you’re setting yourself up to fail.

Expect no more, and tolerate no less, than what you are willing to give. I wish I could take credit for that saying, but, I can’t. I don’t remember when or where I came across it but the words have always stuck with me. If you’re struggling with a relationship issue, repeat them to yourself and things will become much more clear. I once heard that you should think of yourself as a third party. What advice would you give a friend who was in your situation? You wouldn’t tell them to stay with someone who treated them like garbage even though they had that person on a pedestal, would you? No. Why should your circumstances be handled any differently? They shouldn’t.

I’m no relationship guru. But I’ve lived, loved and learned. I hope there’s something from my past experiences that you can take away from this and apply to your future experiences. I wish you all nothing but happy and successful relationships! :)

11 comments

  1. Such great advice! I definitely have fallen prey to not leaving bad past relationships in the past.

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  2. good advice, Amanda!:) i think my favorite is leaving bad relationships in the past too! Whether that be romantic ones or even crap friendships that are toxic!

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  3. I see what you did there! Love the L.O.V.E. Great advice, Amanda! Congratulations, Melissa!

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  4. all true! relationships have taught me a lot, mostly about what i want, how i deserve to be treated and what i will not stand for!

    kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  5. So much wisdom happening up in here. I'm glad I'm not the only one who looks back at her own past girlfriend actions and feels downright embarrassed.

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  6. great post Amanda! Vocalizing what you want/need is soooo very important! i think that is the #1 reason that my fiance and I are in such a healthy relationship. communication is key!

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  7. Such a great post girl!!! There is so much truth in everything you said. This is great advice :)

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  8. TRUTH, all of it. Especially operate as an adult. And also ditto Kathy's comment.

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  9. Love Amanda! Popping over from her blog! :) I used to be "that" girl too, but have finally grown up, thank goodness. Great advice here!

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  10. I love your ideas on LOVE and vocalizing what you need and want out of a relationship. So important! :)
    xo TJ

    http://www.hislittlelady.com

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