things are personal

I've had an interesting few days here on this blog recently, 
and since this is my personal platform for my thoughts, feelings and emotions,
I wanted to go ahead and put a few things out there.

Without naming names or pointing fingers, 
I wanted to call attention to several emails and blog comments I've received as of late
that have mentioned my negativity, unkindness and general rudeness towards those actively trying to conceive.
I want to make it very clear that when writing my blogs,
it is absolutely not my intention to sound ungrateful, hurtful or unkind towards anyone. 

I realize that falling pregnant is the happiest time in many couples' lives,
and I want to assure you that Ryan and I are incredibly thrilled to be embarking on this journey together.
I also want to make it abundantly clear that this is my blog,
and on this blog I've promised myself that I would be one hundred percent honest and true all the time.

This has been an extremely difficult first trimester,
and with my husband leaving for training, a history of body, weight and eating issues,
I'd be an outright liar if I said I wasn't struggling with some of the frank realities of pregnancy.

None of this lessens our joy or our excitement for this little one on the way.

I am fully aware that some of my rants might seem childish and insincere.
I'm also aware that there are many people who would give anything to be in our shoes right now,
and it hurts my heart deeply to know that it's so much harder for them than it was for us.

I'm not asking anyone to follow my blog. 
I'm not asking anyone to comment on my blog, or even really advertising my blog in any way.
Please know that if you are following my blog,
what you are going to read are my deepest, innermost feelings laid bare on these blank pages 
for anyone to read and criticize.

Please know that I am not asking for your pity at all
because I am well aware how incredibly blessed Ryan and I are.
However, until you've walked a mile in my shoes, please don't judge my struggles as immaturity,
or worse - simple, callous and uncaring thoughts.

If, however, you feel that my posts are immature or unkind to others,
please simply unfollow my blog.

22 comments

  1. First of all I would just like to say that I have been battling infertility for ten years. I love your blog and the fact that you a pregers! In this life we all have our struggles whether it be to have a baby or something else. The feelings that your are feeling are natural. Every women that gets pregnant, their body is different. This is a very special time in your life, but also one of the most miserable. Whether its you throwing up all day everyday or just laying in bed all day because you cannot get out, is the way your body reacts. You never said you were not happy to be pregnant. Its the way your body reacts to being pregnant and makes you miserable and feel like poo. No one has the right to tell you how to feel or how your body should feel! Try to relax and not listen to all this negativity.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Heather. I truly appreciate them more than you know, and I truly hope with all my heart that you're blessed with a child of your own. Much love to you xo

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  2. I really REALLY hate that people leave mean comments and take the time to send emails telling you what you are doing wrong. It's so ridiculous, the concept of thinking you know what is going on in someone's life given what they share on their blog. I love that you are real. As someone that hasn't had a kid, I like seeing that it IS NOT all rainbows and lollipops. I love the fact that you show the HARD side of being pregnant and not just the "oh my GOD LIFE IS SO FREAKING PERFECT!" I admire that tremendously in a world where ever blog tries to portray motherhood and pregnancy as the END ALL BE ALL of perfection. It's a load of crap and not everyday will be easy. When I read your blog I see honesty, not negativity. Everyone does this life differently and that's one of the best thing about this whole blogging game, getting to see all these different perspectives. SO PLEASE, don't quit sharing. You are a treasured friend I've made through this whole crazy thing and I can't wait to see how your story unfolds--the good and the bad!

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    1. Love you more than you know, Ashley. You're an amazing friend, and I so appreciate you talking me off the ledge this morning. Can't wait till the day we can meet in person and I can give you a big ol' hug :)

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  3. Oh girl- I can't believe people have been making negative comments to you. That's such crap. I agree with Ashley- I really enjoy hearing the not so positive side of pregnancy. It's not realistic to say that everything is peachy keen when it's not. You've been very upfront with the fact that you were both surprised, yet still overjoyed about it- even with the crappy side effects.

    And as you said- it's your blog- you're not forcing anyone to read. So keep doing what you're doing...I know I'll keep reading!!

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    1. It's their prerogative, but it hurts, you know? I appreciate your sweet words and that you like hearing the realities. It means a lot to me! xo

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  4. honestly, i find your blog so refreshing honest and real when it comes to this pregnancy thing.... I feel like too many people sugar coat things (especially pregnancy) and It is nice to hear the honest point of view, because it's not always a great ride

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    1. Thanks, girl. I've read plenty of pregnancy blogs, and very few told me the truth about morning sickness and all-day sickness for that matter. I'm not trying to be anything but honest here because I want to look back and remember the realities someday.

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  5. I can't speak for those who have infertility issues but I have seen nothing wrong with what you have posted so far. You are speaking your truth and pregnancy is not all sunshine and rainbows. My best friend Heather was sick her whole pregnancy due to a misshaped uterus and it was rough, does that mean she didn't want her baby?! Hell No!!

    Just because there are struggles doesn't mean you don't embrace the journey or the baby that makes it worth it. Just keep doing you, girl!

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    1. Thanks, Kerry. I just never want my words to hurt others - it's definitely never my intention.

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  6. Been TTC for almost 3 years and I, in no way, find what you write to be hurtful at all. If someone doesnt like what you're writing then they shouldn't read it. Honesty is much more appreciated by everyone than sugar coating things. Pregnancy isn't a walk in the park for most people. I think you're the most genuine pregnant person I know! Keep it up!

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    1. Thank you, Elena. I want you to know how very much I admire your strength and grace through your journey. I was terribly sorry to think my words might have hurt you in any way, shape or form and I hope to never do that to you! xo

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  7. omg wtf?! i have never seen a word from you that would make me think you were any more negative than any other pregnant woman, and while i dont struggle with infertility (have never tried so who knows) i just cant imagine anything you have said to come across as hurtful or mean or anything. i just dont believe this. gah!
    anywho. i like your honesty and really, i have read much much worse where women outright say they despise pregnancy and list all the bad things but even that is not a dig at women trying to have a baby.
    people make me mad!

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  8. Don't listen to the rude people who feel the need to be negative about what you write. You write for yourself! Not anybody else. If you're going to write only what people want to hear and be 100% positive all the time... what's the point? It won't be real and it won't be you. I love your blog & I'll still be over here reading along :) I can't wait to see how the rest of your pregnancy goes & to meet baby!

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  9. Wow! I love your blog and one of the many reasons is for its honesty! Keep on doing what you're doing. This is your journey and you will want to look back and remember it someday - the good AND the bad.

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  10. Aw friend I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. I love all of your posts and following along with your pregnancy and never once have I ever doubted that you and Ryan are amazingly excited about this baby!!! This blog is YOU and that's what we want to hear about!!!

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  11. Brave and correct of you to write this, and every other word you've put here.

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  12. I'll just add to the chorus--haters gonna hate, but you've done nothing wrong. You're awesome, and though I've never experienced it, I know pregnancy is hard! So I think it's fine to voice how you're feeling. You've never said anything that has made me feel like you aren't beyond happy and excited for this little one to enter your lives. Keep being real. People who can't be happy for the happinesses of others really can't be happy in any situation, I think. Amway. Long comment just to say that you're great and you should just keep doing what you're doing :)

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  13. You're allowed to have bad days! Everyone is! Is it sad that some people can't conceive? Of course! But that doesn't mean that it makes YOUR experience any less YOUR OWN.

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  14. I'll agree with the others, Melissa, that I haven't seen anything in your writing that seemed directed at any one else. My guess if that those who were hurt or offended simply are the kind of people who, because of their experience, are extra sensitive, and get their feelings hurts too easily--that's an aspect of their character that they probably need to grow in.
    And pregnancy seems totally different from one person to another. My aunt had very easy pregnancies--she always said she absolutely loved being pregnant. She was also never sick, and never threw up once during 5 pregnancies. My Mom loves her kids, and wishes she could have had even more, but most emphatically did not enjoy pregnancy--with all 7 of us she was pretty sick, and with my last sister she was even on bedrest for several months--I really do not think that you have to enjoy the pregnancy process to enjoy the child. :)

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  15. Yes pregnancy is a blessing but it can be hard as hell! You voicing your true feelings about it should not be frowned upon. As many have already said we all have crossed different battles so never shame someone for theirs. I hope the next trimester finds you feeling tons better! These littles sure take all they can to grow :)

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  16. As someone who tried for years to get pregnant, I will admit it can be hard to watch others do it so easily. However, I know that these are my inner demons and you had nothing to do with that. Babies are wonderful gifts, and they all come at their own timing to their own family. How can people not get excited about that?! I am so happy for others who get to experience pregnancy and bringing a new life into this world. Such a wonderful gift! And being pregnant and dealing with a distant spouse is no easy task. Keep doing your thing girl. Be real. Not enough people are.

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