work at home mom

I swear I struggle with this on a daily basis. Ryan and I are blessed to be a two-income household. I have an amazing job for World Travel Holdings that affords me the opportunity to keep working from home - wherever that may be. Living in a life owned by the Army, this is an incomparable opportunity, and I'm never, ever ungrateful for that. Since having Spencer though, working from home has been hard.

Frankly, I didn't think it would be that hard. My job as a writer is usually pretty flexible. And, when Spencer was first born, it wasn't that hard. He slept a lot, didn't need to be entertained, and it was pretty simple to put him down and get some work done. 


These days, however, he's much more active. He plays in his exersaucer, he barely wants to lie on his playmat, and he prefers to stand (while being held) above anything else. This, however, leaves little time for actually getting work done. Our babysitter is with us 4 hours a day now, but even with that, I struggle. And, to be honest, I really struggle with mom guilt, too.

I know that I'm doing the best thing for our family by keeping my job, and I really do love my job. It's been amazing being able to continue working full time. That said, I feel so immensely guilty much of the time for having to turn on a screen and turn away from my son in favor of a device. That might sound silly, but I can tell that he recognizes me now, and I know that whether he knows it or not...I'm leaving the room or checking out.

Mom guilt is insane, people. Insane. 

It causes me to question myself pretty much all the time. Is he sleeping enough? Is he pooping enough? Does he feel stimulated/loved/warm/happy enough? In reality, yes, he probably does on all accounts. In my head though, I'm abandoning my son in favor of a virtual stranger when I need to dedicate myself to my work.

Fellow working mommas...does this ever get to you, too? 

7 comments

  1. Just being there for your baby as he grows up is all he needs to see that you love him like crazy!! You're doing a great job. Don't guilt yourself too much! I cant imagine, as I don't have kiddos of my own yet, but I'm sure it's a struggle to maintain a job/being a mom/having a life. Sounds like you're doing great!!

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  2. When my son was about 4.5 months old I had a major struggle with this. At that time I luckily was able to reach out to a mentor of mine and explained the issue. One thing he said that resonated with me is that it's good for children to have a lot of people raise them. It takes a village right?! Being a mom and having a job takes a lot of balancing but IMHO it's so important to maintain your identity outside of being a mom. I'm kind of rambling now but - basically, don't feel guilty and you are doing great.

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    1. Seriously, and that's a big reason why I kept my job, too! I need to still be ME. Thanks for your sweet words, Maggie! Motherhood is HARD!

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  3. Love the fact you can work from home. I need to find a work from home job. With my husbands sked, and my Reserve job, that would be best for our family!

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  4. I'm going back to work on Monday and I already feel the mommy guilt about it! I think moms just always worry and wonder if they're doing the right thing regardless of the situation. Financially speaking, there is just no way I could stay home, so I know that I'm doing what I have to do for my family, but I feel guilty that I can't be home with my son. If I didn't have to work, I'd probably feel guilty too for not making money. Always something to worry about! Just know that you are doing what is best for you, Spencer, and your family!

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  5. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with this! I have no advice or experience, but I imagine you are doing far better than you think you are, and you're definitely doing what's best for you!

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  6. I really struggled with this, and still do some days. But one of my best gal pals let me vent and then told me how she felt when she was struggling with leaving her son. She told me that, "While it is hard, she knows that by working her son is going to get the best version of her and their family." And that really reigns true. My work is part of my passion, and while my son is really my whole world, there would be pieces of me missing if I didn't work. I want my son to know it is possible to balance all kinds of passions and to chase after those dreams like his dad and I have. I also have to remember that financial it just could not happen for us to be a single income family. I honestly think it helps me really focus on the time we have together too, and I don't take a second for granted. Don't guilt yourself too much! You are doing what is right for you and your family. What is important is that you make that time special when you are together, and with that he will know your love and care!

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