a refocusing, if you will

There is something about blogging that is innately confusing. It's like a private journal of your innermost thoughts - all made public for the world to see. Sometimes it's a little bit too much to do. For a while there, I decided to quit my blog. Nothing bad happened. Nothing negative. I just didn't want to sit down and type stuff out anymore. But here's the thing - and Ryan convinced me of it - this blog is like a journal of our family's life together.

We have two precious little boys now! Spencer is a toddler through and through. He's all boy, and he has one heck of a strong will. Porter is a sweetheart (most of the time), and he's almost 3 months old, which is just madness. Cue photo dump...

After having a pretty huge success with my little blanket business, I decided to take a step back because I was starting to get overwhelmed. I'd started it as a therapy. It became a chore, and I was so stressed all the time that it was no longer worth it. We don't need the money, and I'd rather spend my time with my boys this summer - especially because Ryan will be deploying this winter.

It's come to that time again. Deployments. Separation. Family challenges. And yet, I feel good about it this time. I chose this life. I chose my husband, and I chose the challenge. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder if you let it. I'll spend next year working hard and traveling with Spencer and Porter, awaiting Ryan's return. We've got a trip to South Africa in the works, as well as many visits to Oma and Opa in New Hampshire.

I'm also taking the time to really focus on me. I have goals, people. I want to be active and swimming again. I want to run and be fit - for me - not for anyone else. I have a race at Lake George this weekend, so Ryan and I will travel there with the boys Friday evening. It's just 2.5 k, but I'm so excited to flex those competitive muscles again!

It feels silly to put some sort of "resolution" out there, but I feel like I need to. So, here we go...my goals, and a firm testimony of what and why I'm refocusing...

1 - Family and faith first. They're my rocks, and they're always my top priority.
2 - If it stresses you out, it's probably not worth it. Enjoy every little thing.
3 - Do your best at all you do, rather than overload yourself and half-try at everything.
4 - Compete...with yourself, with others, with your own personal limitations.
5 - Love. Love your life. Love yourself. Love your family. 

And so, I'm back in the game. I'm going to document our life. Not what I think people want to read. This is for us.


  1. I'm glad you're choosing to be fit and healthy for YOU. Too many people these days want to work out to look good for others...and those are the types of people that end up not ever being fit or healthy in the long run.

    You have such a beautiful family <3 Share your love with the blog world. I know it's kind of weird sometimes if you think about all of these strangers looking at your life. But whatever ;) Who cares what other people think.

    Haven't visited your blog in a while. I'm happy to see you're doing well <3

    xo Azu


  2. Your mentality about blogging is the exact same as mine. I blog for me and to document things for my own records. I think those are the best kinds of blogs to read I think. Enjoy your trip so South Africa! So cool that you're going there!!
    Evelina @ Fortunate House

  3. Hi, friend! Welcome back to the blog land - glad to hear all is well in your corner of the world!! Ooh, South Africa...!! I would love to get there at some point...! And wow, Porter is such a sweetie! They both are!! <3

  4. love this post girl :) i am sorry your blanket business started becoming stressful but you are right - it is so not worth it to stress yourself out over something like that. south africa!! how exciting.

  5. Welcome back! South Africa sounds like it will be a blast!

  6. So does that mean Black River Blankets is done? If so, the world will miss your beautiful products, but definitely make whatever decision is best for you :)

    As far as blogging goes, I'm totally with you. For a while I was blogging consistently 3x/week and I really was getting more followers and lots (for me) of traffic. But it became a chore and I sometimes wrote about things that just didn't really matter much. When I made the switch to blogging as a journal, it became so much less stressful and more what I wanted it to be -- posting whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Now I blog probably like 2-4x/month depending on if there is a lot going on, but I'm actually capturing family memories instead of writing about five handbags that I'm trying to decide between. It's a good spot to be in :)

    I hope you're feeling some relief from your stress, and good luck in your race!

    1. It's not done - just starting on a new page. I needed to clear my head after some stuff, and I'm doing it on my terms :)

  7. I like your outlook on deployment. I cannot even imagine how hard/sad it is. Your family is truly beautiful! Love your take aways at the end!

    Ashley // A Cute Angle // acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

  8. Yes to all of this! I decided a while ago to only blog when I want to and not feel like I have to. It has been really freeing. I hope that you find that with your space! And your boys are too too too cute!