today I may very well lose my mind

I often find that blogs are painted in beautiful rainbow hues. We show the pretty, but we don't always share the nitty gritty. Today (and this week, for that matter), my life is chaos, and I'm pretty sure I'm losing it. This is how my day started.

6:00 AM - Wake up, start working from my laptop from bed.
6:50 AM - Walk Danny for the first time - get her to pee, neighbor's dogs escape and start running towards us, so we head home.
7:05 AM - Go to wake Spencer, and smell the stench of poo before I open the door.
7:06 AM - Open to door to find my son covered in dry poo, as well as his bed sheets, the wall, the crib...everything.
7:08 AM - Put Spencer in the shower and let him soak the actual sh*t off his body.
7:09 AM - Leave Spencer in the shower and go wake Porter, who has also pooped himself.
7:10 AM - Clean Porter and change him for the day.
7:12 AM - Fish Spencer out of the shower (commence screaming), dry him, change him and give him breakfast downstairs in front of the TV because I'm a great mom.
7:15 AM - Finish stripping Spencer's bed, start the washer and head back downstairs to find a forlorn dog on the couch, cheerios all over the rug and a happy toddler.
7:20 AM - Hear beeping in the kitchen and go to investigate. 
7:21 AM - Discover the fridge and freezer aren't working. Attempts to remedy the situation fail.
7:25 AM - First big cry of the day. Panic. Poop, broken appliances, dust bunnies, no workouts, and a sad dog are too much.
7:45 AM - Realize we don't have formula in the house. Bundle the kids to take to their new sitter since ours was fired two weeks ago, and head out to get formula early.
8:00 AM - Put an even sadder dog back in her crate as we head to the store to buy both a dog run and formula...because our poor dog can't be trusted off a leash and she needs more time outside, and I have no more hands.
8:30 AM - Finish getting the goods at the store and take the kids to their sitter.
8:45 AM - Finally head home to clean the rest of the poop, shower and have another good cry.

My life is such madness right now that I'm having a hard time finding my center. Ryan's barely home because of work and the impending deployment, and they start 24 hour ops next week, so he'll literally be gone an entire two weeks then, too.

Honestly, it all seems a little bit too much right now, I haven't worked out in a week, and I'm basically losing my ever-loving mind. I know that this season of life is difficult right now, but it really seems like an insurmountable task, too. I'm just hoping that we find some sense of balance sooner than later because it's a little bit too much. 


  1. I hear you. I know our situations are different, but I feel alone a lot too because Jerry works nights so it's all on me in the evenings when I get home from work. Most days, I can handle it. Then there are days like last Friday when I come to a screaming toddler and dog poop and pee all over the kitchen. All the while, I was trying to fix dinner for Cal, myself, and the dogs. I definitely had a moment. Things always get better though. Just remember that!

  2. Oh girl, that is a tough morning - all that in just 3 hours!

  3. Yeah, I think anyone would have lost it after a morning like that. Keep your head up---things are bound to shift soon!

  4. Oh WOW, What a difficult morning. And I know it's only the tip of the iceberg. I am right there with you. The past couple have days have been really difficult and chaotic for me too. I'm running around like a crazy person trying to do 10 different things at the same time all the time. Deep breath! We will prevail.

  5. Just remember that you CAN do this! Ask for help from friends and family. You don't have to do it alone! Lots of deep breaths!

  6. Oh, girl. I feel you. Those mornings (and days) happen every so often, and leave you almost breathless with feeling like you've been knocked down too many times and just can't get back up. Things seem to be going fine for a while and then BAM, a day like this. Sigh. Take a deep breath and remember that it's just bad day and not a bad life. And that we ALL have them. Even the rosiest hued blogs are just fronts for real people who also have to deal with sh*t sometimes. Thank you for keeping it real. Hope today is a little better for you, and hope that you get to breathe and destress a bit before your husband deploys. How long will he be gone? (My husband is air force, so I am always curious to see how things work in other branches).

  7. One foot in front of the other! You can do this.

  8. oh my goodness, what an absolute stress of a morning. i am sorry :( i wish i could help in some way!

  9. Waah, girl, I'd cry too, but hells sometime life does literally throw you shit, but hey! Just take a deep breath and take it one minute at a time. And let's face it, no one has the perfect life where nothing goes wrong! Big hugs, wish I could be there to give you a hand.. xx

  10. Oh I feel for you, girl. My hubs leaves early and gets home late, too and tackling the laundry list of things to do with 2 babies seems like a mountain. Bless you and the whole poop situation, I don't know how I would have handled that! Hope you get to relax a bit this weekend!

  11. Oh, gosh! What a mess. I'm sorry your week was like that. I truly hope this week is better for you!