boats + boldt castle

Summer is in full swing here in the North Country! The weather has been so hot and humid lately, but you won't find me complaining because it's been so perfect getting outside and in the warm summer sun. We're doing our best to keep busy and keep moving because yesterday we hit deployment hump day! That means we're halfway through, and we're just going to keep trucking right along.

This past weekend, the boys and I decided to take a spontaneous trip up to Boldt Castle in Alexandria Bay, and it was such a good time. Spencer's had such a thing for boats and water lately (shocker), and I figured it was high time we got to see some of the local sights up close and personal. We took one of the Uncle Sam Boat Tours to the castle, and we did our own, unguided walking tour of the castle and grounds. 

Spencer just loved running around with his little friend, Marie, and I wore Porter in the Tula because it's not the most conducive environment for strollers. One day this child will walk, my friends, but this weekend was not the time.

The castle grounds are so gorgeous, and Spencer had a blast seeing all the flowers, the rising water - a lot of the bottom floors were still under water - and really just running around sharing all his excitement. Seeing the castle, itself, was stunning, but seeing the excitement on my kids' faces was a thousand times better.

Notes for visitors:
  • Boldt Castle entry is $9.50 for adults. Kids under 5 are free.
  • Uncle Sam Boldt Castle Shuttle is $9 for adults. Kids under 4 are free.
  • No food or drinks are allowed in the castle. You can eat on the grounds. Porter took a bottle, and the kids ate some snacks on the grass.
  • I recommend eating off the island. If you're looking for a sit-down affair, we recommend choosing one of the places in town. Usually we eat at Riley's by the River, but this time we sat for over an hour without being served because a bus tour came and they failed to factor that in, and it was quite a disappointment. We ended up eating at Coffee Pot Cathy's, and it was really good.
All in all, it's totally worth the trip if you're ever up this way! It's one of those historic sites you just don't want to miss.

lake placid half marathon 2017

This past weekend, the boys and I traveled the 2.5 hours to Lake Placid, NY for the half marathon. This is the second time I've done the race, and the last time I did it, it was actually my first half marathon. Spencer was 6 months old at the time, and if I remember correctly, I had to nurse him right after I finished because he refused the bottle my parents tried to give him. Honestly, last time we didn't do it right. We stayed too far away, we weren't relaxed, and we had a very attached baby, all of which made it hard to enjoy.

This time, we went up on Saturday morning and booked a stay in town at the Lake Placid Summit Hotel & Suites, which is about a half mile from the start at the Olympic Oval, and along the actual course. My parents came up on Saturday afternoon, and the boys were thrilled to see them. We did our packet pickup on Saturday afternoon - also much better than trying to pick it up the morning of the race, which we did last time. 

Our neighbor, Emily, decided to do the race with me, and this was actually her first half marathon! It's been fun having a training buddy, and I've enjoyed being able to experience this with her. We spent the evening before the race enjoying main street and downtown, and we had a great dinner at the Lake Placid Pub & Brewery. As an aside, they have a kids' playroom on the top floor right where we dined, and it was so nice. Spencer, Lindsey and Porter had a blast playing until we ate dinner, which was delicious. They're also the brewery that made the official race beer - the LP26.2 :)

We got a fairly early night back at the hotel, and once the boys were settled, Emily and I went over our gear, planned for the morning and packed it in pretty early. The boys slept much better than I did. I find I can never really sleep that well the night before a race. We were up at 6, and we left the hotel at 7 to get to the race start, where we stretched and got ready. And then we were off!

This race, despite being obnoxiously hilly and hard, is so well-run. There are aid stations almost every mile, and they're well-stocked with water, gatorade, gu, bananas and more. Honestly, it's one of the best-planned races I've done thus far, and I really enjoyed running a familiar course. The first 9 miles felt really strong. I was going a steady pace - not fast, not super slow - and I had a great rhythm. Right after the turnaround though, you begin to hit the uphills, and when I got to the ski jump at mile 10, I hit a wall. I clearly need to up my mileage and drop a few more lbs to really get in gear. I walked the last hill since that last mile is almost completely uphill, and I finished in 2:22.17. It was 8 minutes faster than my last race in NJ, and it was 16 minutes faster than the last time I did Lake Placid. It was definitely not a PR, but it felt like a good jumping off point.

All in all, this is one of my favorite races to do, and I'm really glad we bit the bullet and did it. It was also my first race in my new shoes from Fleet Feet in Syracuse, and they worked great, which bodes well for training! We're going to really kick things into high gear starting this week, and I'm excited to see how things progress. Our next race is just a 5K here in town on the 25th, then we have a break in races until August 27th, when we do the 18.12 challenge

Until next time, Lake Placid, you've been great!

one year of porter dean

Dear Porter Dean,

Today you are ONE year old! You have no idea how much you've transformed our little family in just one year of your life. You are funny, silly, quirky, and you are possibly the most adorable little towhead around. 

You think your brother is the funniest, and he just loves to make you giggle, in turn. Baby boy, thank you for teaching so much in this first year of your life. Thank you for teaching me to advocate for you when my mama heart tells me something is wrong but the doctors just can't find it. Thank you for teaching me to be flexible and patient whilst balancing two little personalities. Thank you for teaching me that I can love another little boy just as much as his brother.

And, above all else, thank you for showing your daddy so much love - even while he's deployed and thousands of miles away from you.

Little man, we love you so, so much (especially that one tooth of yours), and it's okay if you want to wait a while to walk. We love it when you cruise around and crawl like a little spider-monkey. We love that, while you're in the 0 percentile for weight, you eat anything and everything you can get your hands on. We love your snuggles and your silly little kisses, and we can't imagine a life withouy you.

Today is all for you, sweet boy.



running wrap-up: may

After my great running month in April, I was really excited for a repeat in May, but I found myself struggling, yet again, to find the amount of time to train that I needed. Porter's hospitalization and subsequent sicknesses have kept me down a little bit, but I persisted, and I actually did better than I thought I was going to halfway through the month.

We tackled our first long training run last weekend - 2 hours - and I was pretty impressed with how well I did, overall. Emily and I got up at 4:30 to knock it out before the kids woke up (which didn't work because Lindsey and Porter were both up at 5 am), but we did well, and it was great to finish the run early and be done for the day. 

Here are some of my May stats for my records:

Longest run: 11.11 miles
Shortest run: 2 miles
Fastest pace: 9:00
Slowest pace: 11:04
Miles this month: 38.03
Miles this year: 214.55

While it wasn't my best month, it was definitely better than the first few months of the year. Plus side? I also feel like I'm able to actually hold a pace for much longer now - regardless of how slow that pace may be. My next race is next weekend in Lake Placid on the 11th, and I'm interested to see how my time compares to the last time I did that race back in 2015. I did get fitted for new running shoes last weekend in Syracuse at Fleet Feet, and I was excited to test them out, and love them, this past week. I was a loyal Mizuno runner until they discontinued my Sayonara 2s. I'm now in an Adidas Supernova, and I love it.

June should be a huge month for me in terms of mileage and training, as my focus turns to 18.12 and Chicago in October. Both races are going to be a huge challenge and test of my mental strength, stamina and endurance, so here's to continuing great training! Fellow runners - how did you do?

the good stuff

The warmer weather has finally graced Northern NY with its presence, and I couldn't be happier. Literally every day we can, we've been outside. Whether it's a trip to the zoo, trips to Old Macdonald's Farm, Alexandria Bay or just FRG events at the Blizzard Barn, we're on the move. I've been meaning to post every single day, but as we force ourselves to find our normal this spring and summer, the here and now has been so much more important to me than simple words on a page. 

Two weekends ago, we finally went to Old Macdonald's Farm in Sackets Harbor. I wanted to take Spencer last year, but I didn't think he'd really be old enough to appreciate it. This spring though, he loves it. The farm is great. The kids can feed the goats, go in the pens and pet/play with them, feed the cows, take a hayride, pet the bunnies and so much more. He literally had the time of his life.

This past weekend, we were busy over the three days. On Saturday, I started with a really long run in the morning, and we did a little trip to the Thompson Park Zoo later in the morning. We bit the bullet and bought a yearly zoo membership for $65, which was far better than $10 a visit because we go so often. Plus, with all indigenous animals, I feel like we're supporting a really good cause. Later in the day, we did a trip with the FRG to the Blizzard Barn, and Spencer had some yummy ice cream. Porter had sherbet because, well, he's allergic to the world :)

Sunday morning was spent at Alexandria Bay, where the kids got to play in the sand, dip their toes in the frigid water and play at the park. Lots of sunshine was worth the 30-minute drive, and the kids both crashed hard for naptime, which meant that mama got a well-deserved nap, too.

Despite the fast the Murphy's Law seems to really be fond of the Moore household since Ryan deployed, life is good - and getting better. With warmer weather, my boys and I are taking advantage of what may very well be our last summer here in NY. Plus, I'm busying myself with home-improvement projects that desperately need to be detailed on the blog. I'll be doing so in the coming days. 

the scariest few days

As you probably remember, I mentioned a little bit ago that Porter's been having some GI issues for nearly 7 months now. We've kind of bounced between intense constipation that's landed us in the ER, to diarrhea, to nearly nonstop rashes that seem to consistently plague him. At the beginning of last week, we seemed to be in the middle of one of those bouts of diarrhea again. I was worried, but frankly, I didn't think too much of it because we've always gotten it under control.

He had another weight check on Tuesday though, and he was down another 4 oz, despite constantly drinking his formula. I mentioned his rash, and they told me to continue to apply Triple Paste, despite the fact that I told them I couldn't keep up with the diarrhea. By Thursday, his rash was bleeding and all over his poor bottom. I took him to the doctor, and she told me it was bad, but not awful, and she prescribed Nystatin for a yeast infection. 

On Friday morning, his rash was the worst I've ever seen it, and he was inconsolable. I took him back to the doctor, and she told me that his weight was down again, his blood sugar was 48, and he was lethargic. She got him to take a bit of a pedialyte popsicle, and his blood sugar bounced back up to 98. She didn't want to admit him, so she told us he was fine - have daycare monitor him and see how the day goes. Against my better judgment, I put him in daycare to get some work done, and I told them to call me at any time.

At 3 PM, I got a call from daycare that Porter had been writhing in pain on the floor for almost 3 hours. He couldn't get comfortable, couldn't drink, and his poor bottom was bleeding all over every diaper. I quickly went and picked him up and raced back to the doctor. His blood sugar was back down to 42, and he was severely dehydrated. She said our only choice, since we were on day 7 of diarrhea, was to be admitted to the hospital. Cue panic.

I called my neighbor, Emily, and she told me to leave Spencer's car seat at daycare. She picked him and took him home with them and, luckily, Spencer was totally comfortable with them and loved his time there...for two days. I've never felt more guilty in my life than leaving one boy to care for the other, but I know he was with people who loved him. Our other neighbor, Jo Ann, volunteered to watch Danny and the cats, and luckily, I could focus on Porter.

They put in a line and gave him continuous fluids for 48 hours. His diarrhea continued. They monitored every single wet and dirty diaper, and we tested his blood and his poo. All of them came back clean. The answer was more simple than we could have imagined. His doctor believed he was allergic to lactose. It turns out that Porter is severely allergic to lactose, milk proteins and soy. When we were discharged on Sunday morning, we were prescribed a hypoallergenic formula to the tune of $106 a can. He cannot have any foods with any form of dairy in them at all.

He's been home with me these past couple days, and he spiked a high fever on Monday - 103.8 - having caught both strep and the flu. He's on the mend now though, fever-free since Monday night, and his bum is finally starting to look a little better. But, if you wouldn't mind continuing all those prayers, we'd really appreciate them. There's nothing worse than seeing your child so very sick.

And, I should mention that poor Ryan was struggling with being so far away during a time like this. Deployment is hard, even in the best of times, and I know my amazing husband would have done anything to be home with us throughout all of this. But, I'm so, so grateful for his sacrifice, and I hope that he knows how much we felt his love and support through all of this.


As part of Ryan's Father's Day gift, the boys and I had some pictures taken yesterday. It was going to be a crapshoot, and I knew it. Porter's been barely sleeping and has had a vicious diaper rash. Poor Spencer has been so confused by my anxiety, and it's been really hard here, lately. Nevertheless, we persisted, and we went on the the shoot.

I had originally hoped to keep the photos under wraps, but our wonderful photographer, Julie, from Kindred Hearts Photography in Carthage, posted these, and I knew they'd brighten Ryan's day. What we're doing with them though...that's a different story, honey ;)

I've always hated pictures of myself. I've hated trying to pose my boys because doing so is so. darn. hard. Little ones were made to move! Why not capture them in all their whimsical glory? Julie did that and more. She let Spencer ham it up for the camera. We giggled at Porter's silly antics and snuggled when he cried. None of it felt forced or difficult. It was so, so precious to me.

With Mother's Day coming up, I wanted to sit down and put some thoughts on a page, reflecting on my last few years as a mama. It's harder than I'd ever thought it could be. There are so many endless nights. Heck, there are so many endless days. The amount of pain you feel when you see your little one hurting is nearly unbearable. The love you feel for your babies is so raw and powerful that you think it might overwhelm you.

But that's also the beauty of motherhood. It's chaos. It's never the calm before the storm. Motherhood is the storm, and it's one glorious, raging, hilarious, beautiful mess. My life as a mama is not picture-perfect, but it's perfectly imperfect, and I love these boys with fierceness I never knew was possible. These little men are the perfect blend of Ryan and I, and I would literally lay down my life for them in a heartbeat - no questions asked. Motherhood is selflessness, complete and utter devotion and sacrifice. And you know what? It's  a sacrifice I'd gladly make again.

All images copyright and credit to: Kindred Hearts Photography.

11 months of porter dean

Poor Porter. He's definitely become the victim of second-child syndrome. I've literally done, like, one update on that sweet boy's life. But, we're nearing his first birthday, and I figured it was high time we do a little update on this biscuit boy. Porter's been keeping us on our toes lately with some chronic health issues, but he's truly such a good baby. Minus traveling. He's the worst traveler. And by that, I mean that he's fully capable of screaming for four hours straight when he wants to. But, that's neither here nor's a little update on our man. 

Weight: This is our primary concern with our little guy right now. He's long and lean, and he's recently lost a good bit of weight. He currently weighs in at 18 lbs, and he rocks the 0 percentile. 

Height: Porter is a tall guy! He's currently 30 inches, which is just 4.75 shy of Spencer. Maybe he has some of my family's height going on?

Clothes: Porter rocks 12 month clothes with ease right now, and I find myself wishing my boys were born in the same season! Hand-me-downs haven't been much of an option, especially since Spencer always erred on the smaller side.

Milestones: We finally have our first tooth! While we were in South Carolina, I finally saw a little pearly white peeking through on the bottom right. I hope there are a few more coming behind it because he really loves to eat all the foods. He's also very close to walking now! He can stand solo right now for about 5-10 seconds at a time, but he hasn't walked yet. He's also really into climbing the stairs, so I think that the baby gates need to go back up.

Porter's Favorites This Month: He's a big, big fan of the tub finally. He wants to play with all the bubbles, and he desperately wants to play with Spencer! Big brother isn't really having it right now, but I'm hoping they get around to playing soon. He also really loves his new daycare. He sits in a big-boy chair (okay, for little toddlers/babies), and he has so much fun playing big kid.

Mama's Thoughts This Month: I can't believe my little babe is almost a year old. I'm a little worried about his guts. Because he's been losing weight, and he's been consistently struggling with a really awful diaper rash, including impetigo, the doctors really want to do some tests. We did a full blood panel the other day, as well as a stool sample, and if he hasn't gained weight by the 26th, he has to go to Syracuse for a biopsy. Please think good thoughts for our boy!


Hello, Monday! The deployment trolls are at it again - hard - today. My sweet cleaning lady and friend, Patricia, was helping me clean the kitchen this afternoon when we heard a noise from the basement. Frankly, I heard the noise and wrote it off as the humidifier. She heard the noise and investigated...and felt heat coming from the basement. So, I went down to check...

The hot water pipe was leaking. Frankly, it was spraying water. My first thought was that I had to turn it off. I turned the valve and it snapped off in my hands, water pouring all over. I called my neighbor, Mike, who is like a father to me, and he told me where the backup valve was and directed me on how to shut it off completely. There was already about 4 inches of water on the ground and hundreds of items underwater - uniforms, garments, shoes, baby stuff - all of it.

Without hesitation, Mike was over with a shop vac, and we were pulling things out of the basement, cleaning up, getting stuff off the floor and setting up dehumidifiers. Honestly, a weight was lifted off my chest.

In a time of so much uncertainty and crazy with this deployment, we are so truly blessed. First off, this didn't happen while I was out of town. Can you imagine the damage that would have happened otherwise? Second, we have friends who care so deeply about us that they drop everything and run to help us with no notice at all. And third, we already have hot water again. 

Some days I feel crazed and anxious and stressed, but at the end of the day, out support system is unparalleled. It's all in how you look at it, friends. If you see the bad, you'll feel bad. If you choose to see the good, that's all you'll see. My cup runneth over, and I choose to only see the good.

running wrap-up: april

April was finally my breakthrough month with running training! After struggling to find the time the past couple months since Porter was kicked out of daycare, I finally made the time after the boys went to bed to log the miles and really get going. My pace(s) were generally slower this past month, but I've been working to remember that old adage, "celebrate finish lines, not finish times."

I also did my first half of the year this past weekend. Honestly, I felt like garbage. Between driving 12.5 hours the day before, sleeping only 5 hours and being extremely dehydrated, I was off from the get-go - especially mentally. Despite being a bit disappointed by the outcome, I'm looking at it as my stepping stone for Lake Placid in June, so I have something to train for. I resorted to a run/walk for a significant portion of the half, so my pace was slow, and I need to remind myself that every step counts, and that's what matters.

Here are some of my April stats for my records:

Longest run: 13.36 miles
Shortest run: 3.12 miles
Fastest pace: 9:17
Slowest pace: 11:32
Miles this month: 61.72
Miles this year: 176.52

I did over 32 miles more this month than I did last month. I have a long way to go with my marathon training, but this was a significant improvement! The boys started daycare yesterday, so I now have a little extra wiggle room to work out (and actually work), so I'm excited to see where things go in May! Fellow did you do?

south carolina dreaming

We got back to NY yesterday evening after a whirlwind two weeks of traveling. We first went to NH for a week, and I managed to get into the office in Boston for a couple days, then we headed down to our beach rental in Litchfield, South Carolina, for a week. It was both boys' first time at the beach, and I've been going there since I was about 3 years old, so it was like a vacation come full circle. We celebrated my mom's upcoming 70th birthday and really just decompressed for a few was perfect.

My sisters and brothers-in-law were each able to come down for 3-4 days each, as well, and the boys really had a blast soaking in some family time. For Spencer, especially, it was a perfect opportunity to really connect with a sort of dad figure while Ryan is deployed. It's been really hard on him lately, and I think it helped him to have both Josh and Adam around as that male influence in his life. Opa obviously helped, as well, but both Uncles really kept him busy and entertained, and tortured him with silly sand holes and the like, just like any good Uncles should.

The travels with the boys were taxing, but they were so worth it. When we left South Carolina this past Saturday, we drove to NJ for my first half marathon of the year. It was a hard trip, and the race definitely wasn't my best (more on that later), but I'm glad we did it! We left immediately after the race and headed back up to my parent's house in NH to get Danny. We spent the night there Sunday, then we drove yesterday back to was long, but it was so good to get home!

Now, we're starting a brand new chapter here in NY! Both boys started at their new daycare today, and we're really excited. It's been a LONG journey to get to this daycare, but we have high hopes for it. But for now, my heart remains on the beach in South Carolina...good food, fantastic family times and so many beachy memories.

spring clean

Well, we all officially made it to New Hampshire alive on Saturday evening. It took us about 8.5 hours from northern NY, but all things considered, it wasn't the absolute worst thing I've ever experienced. It was hard, don't get me wrong, but it could've been worse. The hardest part was the fact that neither Spencer or Porter really took a proper nap, and managing two kids and a broken dog at our two rest stops was quite the ordeal. BUT, it's over, and it's done!

I managed to get my long run in on Sunday, and doing all the hills around my parents' house was about as difficult as I'd expected it to be. I got in over 7 miles though, and I'm pretty proud that I've actually stuck to this training plan, all the while staying committed to The Babe Campaign, as well.

I'm seeing huge gains (and losses), and they're very encouraging. I'm down nearly 20 lbs since Ryan deployed, my speed work has vastly improved, and my energy levels are a lot better - even with a teething 10 month old and a trying 2 year old. While I was running in the warm sun on Sunday, I consciously thanked God for giving me this body and allowing me to really use it to accomplish my goals. It may sound silly, but even when I see my flaws, I realize that I am so, so blessed. 

I decided to participate in Spring Clean 30 with The Babe Campaign, and I'm really excited to kick my goals into high gear now. I have quite a bit more weight to lose in the coming months, and I have a bunch of races coming up. If you're interested in seeing a bit more of what we're going to be doing this month to accomplish ALL THE GOALS this month, check out the hashtag on Instagram: #springclean30 :) 

As for now, I'm in the office today and tomorrow, then I'm headed back to my boys and my parents, and we leave on Friday for South Carolina! I'm looking forward to this little break to really rest, relax and revive. I just wish Ryan was here to enjoy it with us.

getting away

I made the decision last week that I'm going to leave town for a couple weeks starting this coming weekend. I have the NJ Half Marathon at the end of April, and my family will be celebrating my mother's 70th birthday in South Carolina the last week of April before the half. Because I don't have daycare for Porter until May, I decided it would be smart to head to NH to spend some time with the family and go into the office a couple days, so we'll be leaving on the 15th.

Confession: I'm totally terrified of driving 8 hours alone with my kids. So, mamas (or daddies...), if you have any advice at all, please start dishing it out!

We did get some great news on Friday. Porter's new daycare has a spot for Spencer, too! Both boys will be starting there full-time on May 2nd. It's about double the price, but having struggled with proper daycare since we moved to NY, we figured it was time to buckle down and do it. If I want to keep my job and be able to train properly, I have to have the time to dedicate to doing so.

And what, you ask, am I training for? Besides my current running calendar, I've decided with Ryan to set my sights on the 20 Bridges Swim next summer before we PCS. It's the longest marathon open water swim in the world, and it is carried out in 7 stages over the span of a week. In the coming weeks, I'm going to buckle down with a proper game plan, training regimen and really commit to it. I'll be doing it to raise money for a wonderful cause, so I'll detail more on that soon!

Life is crazy, but I'm committing to a healthier, happier me. I'm committing to a wonderful summer with my crazy little men, and we've been making the best of the warmer weather lately with trips to the zoo, the park and more. It's a sweet springtime, but somewhat bittersweet without Ryan. Here's to the ticking days, the summer sun and many good memories ahead.

a current run calendar

I've been working on scheduling out my runs for the rest of the year so I have things to train for, and I knew I really needed to buckle down if I want to see some real progress. So, since work was slow this morning, I decided to plan some things out and get moving. Right now, here's where I stand:

April 30 - NJ Marathon & Half Marathon - I'm doing the half
May 21 - Thompson Park 5k
May 28 - Chaumont, NY 12k
June 11 - Lake Placid Marathon & Half Marathon - I'm doing the half
August 27 - 18.12 Challenge
October 8 - Chicago Marathon 

I'm hoping to add a few more races into the mix, including some swims, but I'm not sure where. I thought about doing the Lake George swim again, but it's the day before 18.12, and I'm not sure that's the best thing to do back-to-back. You'll notice there's a gap in races right now for July and September. I haven't found the right races yet, and I'm hoping to find a swim to fill in those months, so fingers crossed?

In other news, but somewhat related, I came across this beauty on Craigslist the other day when I was looking for a double jogger. I didn't want a traditional jogger, and I really wanted something that could work with bikes down the road, too. The couple selling with this purchased for $550, and sold it to me for $200. It's in great condition, and it's clearly kid-approved, so we'll see just how much they're willing to tolerate when I attempt my first long run with two littles this weekend. Fingers crossed!

Mamas who run distance with their littles...any advice? The longest I ever did with Spence was 5 miles, and it was the worst. Granted, he was a lot younger, but I'm still scarred :)

running wrap-up: march

March was another tricky running month for me. Between Porter getting kicked out of daycare, the DONSAs on post and Danny's recovery, I was lucky I found any time at all, really, to run. That said, I'm excited that I've really turned a corner because my first race is coming up at the end of this month. I'm running the NJ Half Marathon on Sunday, April 30th by the shore. It's a flat course, and I'm hopeful for a great run! 

Despite all the challenges, I managed to start kicking things into gear at the end of the month, which made for a great start to April. In March, I managed to get a disappointing 9 runs, but it was still a month of a tiny bit of volume, so it's better than nothing.

Here are some of my March stats for my records:

Longest run: 5 miles
Shortest run: 1 mile
Fastest pace: 8:40
Slowest pace: 11:26
Miles this month: 28.84
Miles this year: 114.8

My neighbor, Emily, and I made the decision to sign up for the Lake Placid half marathon on June 11th, so that's another race to train for this year. I've done it before, and the course is absolutely beautiful - but really hard! We booked a nice hotel room in town this time, so we'll be prepared for a great race. Also, it's April 4th, and I've already done 2 runs this month, so I think we're cooking with gas. Fellow did you do?

a good one

My last post was really a bit of a downer, but I won't apologize for it because, honestly, that's where my head's been lately. I've been struggling, but I feel like I turned yet another corner yesterday. The weather is slowly turning towards spring, I was able to get outside, and the Vitamin D was like medicine for my soul. My friend, Mareike, and I took the kids to the Thompson Park Zoo, and it was a blast. Spencer's been a few times before, but this was Porter's first visit, and we had so much fun!

The zoo features all indigenous animals, so I don't feel too guilty about paying to see some exotic creatures in captivity. Spencer was fascinated by the Mountain Lion and the Canadian Lynxes, and he really loved the river otters - as did I! We watched the wolves have an Easter egg hunt, which was hilarious and funny, and we had a lunch date outside, which made for some happy boys. 

During naptime, my neighbor's husband watched the boys so Emily and I could get our long run of the week in - 60 minutes. I wasn't expecting much, but I was hoping to get about 6 miles in. I figured I could do a 10-minute pace, and I crushed my goal. I went 6.46 miles in 60 minutes, an average of 9:17 pace, and I held tight splits the entire time. I also PRed my 10k by a whole minute, which was a huge ego boost after how awful I've felt lately about life in general.

I also made a decision last night with my mom, who came to visit (yet again) to help me for a couple days. I'm going to brave the trip to NH to see them in a couple weeks, and I'll stay with my parents for a week before we head to South Carolina for a week for my mom's birthday. On the way back up, we'll be stopping in NJ for the NJ marathon. I'm doing my first half of the year, and I'm hopeful for a good time. I also signed up to do Lake Placid in June with Emily, so I'm pretty excited about that!

Deployment life is hard. I won't sugarcoat it at all. I've really struggled a lot lately, but I'm working hard to keep positive and remember all the good stuff. I think that as the weather turns, so does my psyche, and I'm so glad for that.

so, it's been a minute...

Honestly, I've meant to blog every single day for the past month, but it's been so low on my list of priorities that I never got around to it. Life has been hard lately. There are no two ways about it. I've been exhausted, overworked, stressed and really just beaten down. I love my boys more than life itself, but this single parent think is no joke. I honestly don't know how single parents do it because there is no break whatsoever. 

I'm starting to find a rhythm, slowly but surely, but lately it's been two steps forward, one step back - meaning it's actually getting better, but I still have setbacks. My cousin was hoping to come from South Africa for a few months to help, but her visa was denied. We're unsure when she'll be able to come now. Porter is home during the days because his new daycare doesn't start until May. And, above all else, Spencer is so confused as to why Daddy isn't home, and he's rebelling because he's frustrated.

My workouts have historically been the first thing to slide, but I'm making an effort to prioritize them. By focusing on The Babe Campaign, my health and nutrition journey and working out every evening after the boys go to bed, I'm slowly getting stronger. It's a sacrifice to give up a quiet evening for a workout, but I know that's my best option right now, and it's working. I've officially lost 17 lbs, and I've got about 22 until I'm at my goal it's working.

I miss my husband. I cried myself to sleep the other night because I'm so exhausted, and my best friend wasn't here to console me, give me a pep talk and talk me off the ledge. I'm dissatisfied with my job right now, and I'm really looking for that extra something because my life, though I love it, isn't challenging me as much as I'd like.

Call it a third-life-crisis, or something to that effect.

Regardless, I'm here, I'm trucking along, and I'm hoping to get better at blogging, being slightly less existential and moving along in the coming weeks.

5 on friday: currently loving

We've made it through another week, friends! I swear that time has been flying lately, mostly because I'm wishing the lonely nights away, I'm sure. And the fact that I'm craving spring like crazy definitely makes time fly, too. It's time for another Friday 5 because life has been sweeter lately - crazy, but oh-so-sweet. Today, I'm linking up with Meet at the Barre and Smidge of This for Friday Favorites & 5 on Friday!

1. Weight loss progress! I finished my first 30 days with The Babe Campaign and Isagenix, and I released 12.1 lbs and a grand total of 8 inches. Most importantly, I'm feeling more alive, and I'm looking forward to continuing this journey. This, plus Weight Watchers has been hugely transformative for me.

2. Porter turned 9 months old yesterday! This little barnacle is adorable and wonderful, but this stage has been very trying. He has a lot of separation anxiety, and sadly, his daycare provider dropped him because of it. He'll be starting at a new one in May, and I'm hopeful that I'll be able to manage work, working out and life with him home in the interim.

3. This shirt. anything more honest than this? My friend Stephanie gifted it to me, and I just love it! You can get yours here.

4. BBG...I've been looking for a workout routine for at home, in addition to my marathon training schedule. I need something that will make it possible to get a good workout in by myself on a daily basis, and I think that this is just the ticket. Have you tried it?

^^^ image via

5. No picture for this one, but I love being able to read my husband's blog during his deployment. It makes me feel a lot closer to him because it's like a stream of consciousness. I think that, as hard as this deployment is, it's going to be really good for us. This will teach us that we can weather anything, and for that, I'm so grateful. Honey, I know you're reading're my hero, and I love you.