i'm fitness in my schedule

I read my husband's blog post today regarding ownership, and it really resonated with me. While I'm feeling a lot better, no longer sick and really getting my act together, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have days when going on a run sounded awful, or folding another load of lightly stained toddler clothes sounded fun. The fact of the matter is that this is the life I've chosen, and it's the life that I'm so blessed to have.

When Ryan deployed, I set some big goals for myself. One of the biggest ones was to find myself again. I want to get my body back, feel good doing it and truly love the process. I discovered two summers ago that I absolutely love running, and I got bit by the race bug. I signed up for a bunch of races this year all because of that, and I'm so excited to see how I do.

I think one of the biggest challenges I've faced since having two children has been the loss of my own identity. When I started losing weight after Spencer was born, and I found that joy in running, I really started to find myself again. Then, when I got pregnant with Porter, I felt like I was second again. Don't get me wrong. As a mother, I will always put my children first, but if there's only one thing I've learned in the past two and a half years, it's that mothers can't always come second.

And so, I decided to join The Babe Campaign. I decided to stick with Weight Watchers for accountability and portioning. I decided to work with a friend here and put together a running club at Fort Drum. I've decided to let my little shop come second for a while because priorities matter - and so do I. Most of all, I've decided to surround myself with positivity and a tribe of go-getters keen on helping me reach my goals. 

What goals do you want to accomplish? I'm thinking of making this a weekly link up for fitness, health, wellness and goals, since that's going to be a big focus of mine. Thoughts?

5 on friday: faux spring edition

I wrote in my last post that I thought we were finally turning a corner. And we were. Then Spencer vommed a couple nights ago, and I discovered I have walking pneumonia. BUT we're on the mend, and I can finally say that I'm starting to feel a little better. I'm working hard to take care of myself and remind myself that it's okay to ask for help. Plus, NNY has been throwing spring-like weather at us as a fake-out, and we've been soaking it all up! Without further ado, here are my five exciting things on Friday...the faux-spring edition.

1. I had a really good run (finally) the other day, and managed a good 4.75 miles. I felt strong - a little winded - but strong, and I loved being able to run by the Black River and see the falls roaring as the snow melted in the warm sun!

2. While the warm weather lasts, we've been taking every opportunity to get outside and soak up some Vitamin D. Spencer is really loving his bicycle from Oma and Opa more than ever, and I just love his goofy personality. Also, wearing Porter is the best. I sure do love my stage-5 clinger.

3. Danny is slowly but surely getting better! I'm no longer using a sling to walk her, and we usually do four laps of the yard throughout the day. It doesn't seem like much for our gazelle dog, but she's going to need a lot of time to heal and let her hip, especially recover. Furthermore, our second opinion on her femur repair said that the plate is a lot smaller than the one he would have used. He said to make sure that she's very calm and not active for at least 6 weeks to ensure it doesn't slip. Crossing our fingers she behaves!

4. We're going for another hike tomorrow. It's supposed to have a decent chance of rain all day, but with 60 degree weather, none of us want to stay indoors. If the weather somewhat cooperates, we'll be doing Pixley Falls...can't wait to share photos!

5. I've officially lost over 10 lbs with The Babe Campaign and Isagenix! I can't wait to share my results at 30 days because I feel amazing. Nutritional rebalancing was an investment, but more than a monetary investment, it was an investment in myself and my future. It mortified me to share this on instagram the other day, but I wanted to post it to remind myself where I started...and that I've had two babies with this body. Time to give it some TLC :)

Today, I'm linking up with Meet at the Barre and Smidge of This for Friday Favorites & 5 on Friday!

turning a corner

If this deployment is teaching me one thing only, it's patience. I've buried myself in my tasks only to find myself swamped, exhausted, overburdened and generally worn out. Since Ryan left and Danny got hit by a car, I'm working to give myself a little more grace and a little more space. 

Take yesterday, for example. I didn't have daycare during Presidents' Day, and normally I would've tried to trudge through, do my work and watch my kids. Instead, I took a personal day, and some friends and I went hiking. It was a total fail hike - we ended up nowhere where we wanted to be, but we got fresh air, we laughed together, our kids had a blast, and we got outside. It's been a sort of faux-spring here, and I'm relishing it while it lasts!

I wore the boys - yes, both - and it was actually awesome! I've never really had enough energy to do that. I've struggled with eating properly, and starting with The Babe Campaign and Isagenix (more on that later!), has really upped my ability to actually be a mom to my kids. So, with an extra 50ish pounds of babies on me, we hiked and enjoyed the sun, then we got back home for an early night all around.

Honestly, it wasn't a crazy day. It was nothing out of the ordinary, but it was so fun, so freeing and so special to actually get out there and do it. Even better was the fact that normally I'd resist a drive to a hike alone because Porter hates car rides. But you know what? It was so worth it. 

This, my friends, is the best part of deployment. I'm learning so much about myself and what I'm capable of, and it's incredible. 

one week down

I'd be lying if I said it was an even remotely tolerable first week of deployment over here in the Moore house. I like to put on a brave face and seem invincible, but it's been awful. Last week, Spencer was crying about his ear hurting, so while my mom was still in town, we took him to urgent care since it was after hours. They said he was fine.

Fast forward two days, and he's crying more, and barely sleeping. I took him to his regular pediatrician after my mom left, and his eardrum had ruptured, and he has an inner ear infection in the other ear. Add a fussy teething baby, and mama's borderline crazy already.

On Friday, I had to run a few errands before I picked the boys up from daycare, so I got Danny in the car to take her to Petco to pick her Valentine's Day present. It was uneventful, and she chose some truffles. We went and picked up the boys and got home around 4:30. Easy peasy. We were ready for a nice, relaxing Friday evening. When we got home, I opened up Porter's door, and before I could clip Danny's leash on her, she jumped out and started running down the driveway towards the street. She saw that our neighbor was home and knew that her friends were coming out to play.

It felt like slow motion as I raced after her, watching a Ford F-350 speed down our road, miss her with his front tires and then hit her with the back. You guys, it was the worst thing I've ever seen in my whole life. She flew like a rag doll, and I knew it was bad. Porter and Spencer were still waiting to go inside as I grabbed hold of my injured dog and pulled her to the side. She was in so much pain that she was biting me in the process, but I knew I had to get her out of the road.

My incredible neighbors came within moments. Meredith took the kids, Colby called our vet and took Danny, then Emily and Jo Ann came and helped me and my boys inside while we waited for information. 

They called about 45 minutes later and said she was stable, but she'd definitely broken her left hind femur. She had blood clots in her bladder, but no pelvic fracture, and her spine looked okay. They didn't, however, think she could spend the night alone, so I needed to take her to the 24-hour emergency vet in Syracuse.

Jo Ann and Meredith jumped into action without a second thought. We made the boys dinner, and they volunteered to stay with them. Emily said she'd take me to Syracuse because I was in no condition to drive, and we went to get Danny to take her the hour and a half to the e-vet. Once there, they took her on a stretcher inside, and she gave me a few kisses - just to let me know she was there and okay(ish).

Danny stayed there for 36 hours, and she came home last night. She went into our normal vet this morning for surgery to put a plate and four pins in her femur. She'll spend a night there, and then she'll come home to recover. She is, for all intents and purposes, the luckiest dog ever. The vet said that if a passenger car had hit her, she would've died because she wouldn't have missed the front of the car.

I'm so, so, so grateful that my dog is going to be okay, and I'm so thankful for the amazing support system we have here in New York. I may not love this state, but our people are the absolute best. 

Now, here's hoping things can only get better from here...

the days keep ticking

I feel like in the Army, we live and die by countdowns. We're counting the days to a PCS, to the end of a TDY, to the end of a deployment...if it's not one countdown, it's another. And yes, I'm living entirely on this countdown right now. I had my first big meltdown yesterday morning when I got to daycare to drop off the boys. I forgot that Porter needed 3 changes of onesies, and Spencer needed house shoes. That meant I had to go buy some and bring them back - just to prevent having to drive the whole way home.

While I sat there in the car, I literally sulked and cried for a good 30 minutes, trying not to cry in the actual store, wondering how in the heck I'm going to make it 9+/- months without my other half. When I think of it in terms of days, it seems insurmountable. When I think of it in terms of landmarks, it seems slightly more feasible.

And so, that's what I'm going to have to do; plan something every single month to have to look forward to.

This month my FRG co-leader, Amy, and I are throwing a Valentine's party for the spouses and kiddos left behind here at Drum. It won't be anything too elaborate, but here are some of our ideas:

images via here, here and here.

That, alone, should make for a fun planning process, at least, and I'm really grateful for the opportunity to stay pretty darn busy because I won't stop and think about how lonely it is without Ryan around. 

For March, I'm thinking seriously about signing up for the Old Orchard Beach half marathon in Maine. It's a super cheap entry because it's the first time they're running it (pun intended) - just $45 with a tech shirt - and it would really give me a reason to train hard. I'm by no means ready to do a half marathon, but it would give me that landmark to aim for in this deployment.

Danny and I have been running pretty consistently, thankfully, and I think this might be just the ticket...but who knows? We do have the Ocean City half at the end of April, so it's really March that for which we need a landmark, so I'm reaching here...

What sort of ideas do you have to keep busy when your significant other or best friend is away? I'm always looking for something more to do.

I'm linking up today with Jessi for What's Hap-pinning Wednesday!

weekending: deployment weekend one

As I'm sure you've seen, we've started our deployment. Ryan left a few days ago, and we've been blessed to be able to hear from him a few times thus far. He's doing well - exhausted, but well - and he's reached his initial destination, where he'll be for the next few months. He will transfer elsewhere in the middle of the deployment, and communications will be a little more difficult, but we're grateful for this transition.

My mother arrived Friday night, and she's been an absolute saint. I don't think it's truly hit me yet that he's gone, but I'm thankful for a bit of a quieter transition. I think I need this support for the first week.

This past weekend was hard, but we made sure to stay busy! We met our friend Mareike for lunch with her daughter, Marie, on Saturday, ran errands and had a yummy cheat meal so I could eat my feelings. Yesterday, it decided to snow again for the second day in a row, and we took the boys to the Y to swim. For the record, the pools here in Watertown/Fort Drum suck. They're never open, and if they are, they're terrible, but beggars can't be choosers, and my boys don't know any better! 

It was Porter's first time in the pool, and he was content as can be. Spencer, of course, loved the water as usual, and he's absolutely fearless. He doesn't mind being dunked, and he clearly needs swim lessons soon! 

While I'm nervous about being alone this deployment, I'm determined to make the absolute best of it. I have 9 months to conquer my fears, reach my goals and bond with my boys more than ever before. Here's hoping spring starts soon so we can start our adventures, too.

For the record, I'm going to be using this blog like a journal through the deployment, so while some of it might seem mundane...that's real life, right? Good or bad, this is our journey together, and I want Ryan to be able to read this like he's a part of it - because he is - whether the Army lets him be here or not. So, let's rock this. One weekend down!

let's do this

Ryan has officially been deployed.

Because of OPSEC, I won't share where he has gone, or for exactly how long, but it's going to be nearly a year, and dropping him off wasn't the easiest thing in the world. I don't think it's really hit me just yet, but I know it will soon.

My mother has been a saint, and she's come to NY to help me with the boys as we transition this first week. With Porter teething, Spencer missing Daddy and mama trying to get her feet back under her, I'm so grateful to have family close(ish). 

Yesterday, I was able to go the ceremony to case the colors, and even then, I didn't really feel it. But, I'm so, so, so proud of my husband. His sacrifice makes me so proud, and I know how hard this is for him. 

So, here's to a 2017 on opposite ends of the world. I have big goals, and I can't wait to make my husband proud of me. Here we go. Let's do this.