thoughts on volunteerism

The past few weeks have been super busy. And tiring. And stressful. Honestly, they've worn me down a little bit, and it was a little disappointing. Some backstory...I volunteered to be the FRG leader for my husband's unit, as the commander is unmarried, and he asked if I'd be willing to do so. Nobody else stepped up, so I finally agreed with one condition - I have a coleader. Luckily, I have the most amazing coleader imaginable, who has helped me through the ups and downs of this deployment time and again. She's literally the best.

A few weeks ago though, I got a text from one of the wives saying that "it's about time I step up and do the position I volunteered for." After taking a breath, I politely informed her that I was doing the best I could, I have been there for every family who has asked for help, and that if she had any complaints, to please meet me in person. She said I misunderstood her text, and I brushed it off. All was well...until she asked to meet for coffee. Perhaps I'm an idiot because I didn't think anything of it until she railroaded me in person with all of our "failures," telling me that she's never met someone who had more excuses than I, or someone who played the victim as much. I walked out. I found out later that it was being posted to Facebook.

Deciding enough was enough, I spoke to my husband and the commander and said I wanted to step down. Both said I was more than welcome to do so, but that they didn't think it was necessary. Upon urging from the commander, I gave him the name of the spouse in question, and I don't know the end result, but I learned that a lot of the spouses actually do care, and people have come out of the woodwork to support my coleader and my efforts. Honestly, the whole thing has been so trying, and I'm mentally burned out of the FRG, but I'll finish out this deployment and never volunteer for this position again.

Needless to say though, that's why I've been absent. I've been trying to wrap my head around just why so many women feel the need to tear other women down. We should be building each other up! Especially as military spouses, we should be there for each other without any need for recognition of our efforts. Ugh. Anyhoo. Rant over.

In good news, there's this:

T-minus 10 days until race day...more on that tomorrow :) 


  1. I'm so sorry you had to deal with someone like that, lady. It sounds like 1] something is going on at home she can't control and 2] she wanted to be the FRG leader or a coleader so she chooses to try and break the leaders down.

    Good luck with the rest of the deployment, lots of hugs!

    1. That's totally my thought, too. And I actually asked her if she'd like to step up, and she said we'd run it down too much lol thank you for your sweet words! <3

  2. Wow! I am so so sorry that you were treated in such a poor fashion! Unless you have been in that position as a leader you have NO idea how exhausting and all consuming it is. Clearly she does not understand all of the work that goes into making an FRG successful. You are doing a great job and I believe that she is jealous because is not in that position!

  3. Wow that wife seems like a B. No offense, but you all have a lot on your plates, there is a coleader and you were doing a lot. And to confront you in person like that and post it to FB. Disgusting. Less than two months left of deployment.

  4. Oh sweet girl, this makes me so sad, but it is she who has insecurities. My goodness, to try and tear down volunteerism is beyond pitiful! How can antpyone not see that your heart is as big as your beautiful smile!! Let it go, not worth your precious time!

  5. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! It's so awful to feel attacked like that. I've had a similar experience recently, and it's so difficult to put it behind me. I'm glad you shared your story and I hope it helped you move on from the terrible incident!

  6. Wow!!! Doesn't she understand that it's a volunteer position and that you're also juggling two kids, a job, a pet, running, etc?! I'm sorry you're dealing with that. That is crazy.

  7. Oh my, that is terrible. It's a volunteer position. That is crazy and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. She clearly has some issues that she needs to deal with and not take them out on others. Keep your head.