Hi there, Loving Life Moore readers! I’m Amanda and I blog over at Voyage of the MeeMee.
When Melissa
put the word out that she was looking for guest posters, I jumped at the
chance to be one of them. I’m so honored that she’s allowing me to be a
part of her blog because I’m a huge fan of
it (Melissa is the bomb dot com and her blog is an accurate reflection
of that). I hope I do her proud! 🙂
Melissa asked her guest posters to write about love, relationships, etc. which I think is
such a cute theme as she’ll be getting married and going on her
honeymoon when these bad boys hit the world wide web. I’m proud to say
that I’m in a happy and healthy relationship now, but, it hasn’t always
been that way. I struggled a LOT with relationships
in previous years. While some of the lessons I’ve learned were learned
the hard way, I’m still grateful for them and I thought I would use this
opportunity to share them with you.
Leave your past relationships in the past. I know this is easier said than done… believe me, I do – it’s an absolute
must though. Many of my relationships/potential relationships
failed because I expected to be treated the same way as I had been in
the past, which was
poorly. I pushed good men away and pulled bad men in. While I
think it’s wise to be cautious, I also think it’s senseless to hold
someone else accountable for anyone’s actions but their
own.
Operate as an adult. I’ll admit to you that up into my early 20’s I was still
that girl that would hang up and call her boyfriend back a
million times until he answered. Looking back, I’m embarrassed. That
isn’t cute. It’s annoying. It’s
immature. If you’re aiming for an adult relationship you need to behave like an adult, it’s as simple as that. Grow up, or the growth potential of your relationship will be stunted as well.
Vocalize what you want and need from your partner to
your partner. Granted, certain behaviors should go without
saying (being respected, etc), however, we’re all unique and therefore
have different expectations when it comes to what our vision of a
healthy relationship is. People aren’t mind readers.
If you treat them as though they are then you’re setting yourself up to
fail.
Expect no more, and tolerate no less, than
what you are willing to give. I wish I could take credit for that
saying, but, I can’t. I don’t remember when or where I came across it
but the words have always stuck with me. If you’re
struggling with a relationship issue, repeat them to yourself and
things will become much more clear. I once heard that you should think
of yourself as a third party. What advice would you give a friend who
was in your situation? You wouldn’t tell them to
stay with someone who treated them like garbage even though they had
that person on a pedestal, would you? No. Why should your circumstances
be handled any differently? They shouldn’t.
I’m no relationship guru. But I’ve lived, loved and learned. I hope there’s something from my past experiences that you can take away from this and apply to
your future experiences. I wish you all nothing but happy and successful relationships! 🙂
