^^^ a sad teething baby. bear suit courtesy of h&m
It is so easy in blog land to paint life solely in rose-colored hues. Truly. And I love my son more than anything in the world, so let’s pre-empt this post by saying that. I don’t think I had a single inkling how very arduous motherhood and parenting could be until Spencer was born. You recover from the sleepless newborn phase, and you relish in the wonders of your first full night of sleep, though you soon discover you’ll find it hard to actually stay asleep.
Then, when you think you’ve got that all figured out, all of a sudden your baby will throw you a new curveball. In our case, Spencer got pretty severe eczema – to the tune of needing three topical steroids, as well as an oral dose for five days. And on top of that, he got his first cold while visiting my parents, and it was rough.
Now, we seem to have the eczema almost under control, though it will probably be an ongoing battle for about a year according to his pediatrician. Redheads, I tell ya. During our visit to the doctor yesterday though, we discovered that his first tooth has begun to bud. Oh yes, my friends, it’s that time. We’ve gone from once-a-night wakeups to five or more, plus endless meltdowns during the day. He’s in pain. I know it. It breaks my heart, and it hurts when nothing I do helps.
All that said, I’ve been lacking that center, that calm space…that serenity. I know that this, too, will pass, but my goodness…it makes me question whether I am fit to mother more than one child. I love him more than anything in the world, but oh my gosh…between the mom guilt, the exhaustion and the baby mood swings, I have such a hard time seeing that light at the end of the tunnel.
I’ve been praying lately for God to grant me the serenity to get through my days and show my son the love and patience he so deserves…but my goodness. It’s challenging, my friends. Mamas, any words of wisdom or advice?