today I may very well lose my mind

I often find that blogs are painted in beautiful rainbow hues. We show the pretty, but we don’t always share the nitty gritty. Today (and this week, for that matter), my life is chaos, and I’m pretty sure I’m losing it. This is how my day started.

6:00 AM – Wake up, start working from my laptop from bed.

6:50 AM – Walk Danny for the first time – get her to pee, neighbor’s dogs escape and start running towards us, so we head home.

7:05 AM – Go to wake Spencer, and smell the stench of poo before I open the door.

7:06 AM – Open to door to find my son covered in dry poo, as well as his bed sheets, the wall, the crib…everything.

7:08 AM – Put Spencer in the shower and let him soak the actual sh*t off his body.

7:09 AM – Leave Spencer in the shower and go wake Porter, who has also pooped himself.

7:10 AM – Clean Porter and change him for the day.

7:12 AM – Fish Spencer out of the shower (commence screaming), dry him, change him and give him breakfast downstairs in front of the TV because I’m a great mom.

7:15 AM – Finish stripping Spencer’s bed, start the washer and head back downstairs to find a forlorn dog on the couch, cheerios all over the rug and a happy toddler.

7:20 AM – Hear beeping in the kitchen and go to investigate. 

7:21 AM – Discover the fridge and freezer aren’t working. Attempts to remedy the situation fail.

7:25 AM – First big cry of the day. Panic. Poop, broken appliances, dust bunnies, no workouts, and a sad dog are too much.

7:45 AM – Realize we don’t have formula in the house. Bundle the kids to take to their new sitter since ours was fired two weeks ago, and head out to get formula early.

8:00 AM – Put an even sadder dog back in her crate as we head to the store to buy both a dog run and formula…because our poor dog can’t be trusted off a leash and she needs more time outside, and I have no more hands.

8:30 AM – Finish getting the goods at the store and take the kids to their sitter.

8:45 AM – Finally head home to clean the rest of the poop, shower and have another good cry.

My life is such madness right now that I’m having a hard time finding my center. Ryan’s barely home because of work and the impending deployment, and they start 24 hour ops next week, so he’ll literally be gone an entire two weeks then, too.

Honestly, it all seems a little bit too much right now, I haven’t worked out in a week, and I’m basically losing my ever-loving mind. I know that this season of life is difficult right now, but it really seems like an insurmountable task, too. I’m just hoping that we find some sense of balance sooner than later because it’s a little bit too much.