This was our last weekend together for 9 months. It seems surreal. There’s so much stress in this house right now that it’s actually a bit overwhelming, but I also know that we’re going to make it through this next week…as well as through this deployment.



On Saturday, I took the boys to the Sensory Nook so Ryan could get a run and some relaxation in, and it was so good. I was stressed out of my mind on Saturday though. Everything was overwhelming, and yet spending that time with my boys was so good for me. Porter is gradually becoming more mobile, and though he’s incredibly fussy right now, he actually had some fun! Spencer loved it, as usual, and I loved it because I got to see my boys having a blast.


It snowed on Saturday evening, and we had a relaxing evening watching a documentary, eating popcorn and generally shirking our diet completely. We woke yesterday to about 4 inches of snow on the ground, and I took my boys out to play for a little bit – and Spencer, particularly, loved it!


I’m trying to get in the right headspace right now. Truly. This winter, though I love it, has been wearing on me – mostly because I’m thinking about doing this alone. Summer and spring are the easy part! My boys can play outside, soak up the sun and go crazy. Right now, Port is a little too young to play in the snow, and when it’s 9 degrees, I have to question my sanity about bundling up my 2 year old and letting him play outside.

So, basically, I’m going to be ticking those calendar days on the way to spring. I can’t wait to see what is coming, but I’m soaking up these last moments with Ryan before he goes.

I once said that, in the military, we live our lives by countdowns, and it feels really true right now. I’m nervous and excited about it though because this countdown does have a finite end. It does. It’s a long time from now, but it will end. So, my goal is to make it through, succeed, enjoy my boys, be strong for my husband and make him proud.

I hope you all will be patient with me and follow along on this journey because it should be exciting or, at the very least, one heck of a ride!