Honestly, I’ve meant to blog every single day for the past month, but it’s been so low on my list of priorities that I never got around to it. Life has been hard lately. There are no two ways about it. I’ve been exhausted, overworked, stressed and really just beaten down. I love my boys more than life itself, but this single parent think is no joke. I honestly don’t know how single parents do it because there is no break whatsoever.
I’m starting to find a rhythm, slowly but surely, but lately it’s been two steps forward, one step back – meaning it’s actually getting better, but I still have setbacks. My cousin was hoping to come from South Africa for a few months to help, but her visa was denied. We’re unsure when she’ll be able to come now. Porter is home during the days because his new daycare doesn’t start until May. And, above all else, Spencer is so confused as to why Daddy isn’t home, and he’s rebelling because he’s frustrated.
My workouts have historically been the first thing to slide, but I’m making an effort to prioritize them. By focusing on The Babe Campaign, my health and nutrition journey and working out every evening after the boys go to bed, I’m slowly getting stronger. It’s a sacrifice to give up a quiet evening for a workout, but I know that’s my best option right now, and it’s working. I’ve officially lost 17 lbs, and I’ve got about 22 until I’m at my goal weight…so it’s working.
I miss my husband. I cried myself to sleep the other night because I’m so exhausted, and my best friend wasn’t here to console me, give me a pep talk and talk me off the ledge. I’m dissatisfied with my job right now, and I’m really looking for that extra something because my life, though I love it, isn’t challenging me as much as I’d like.
Call it a third-life-crisis, or something to that effect.
Regardless, I’m here, I’m trucking along, and I’m hoping to get better at blogging, being slightly less existential and moving along in the coming weeks.