A follower of mine on instagram the other day asked me a question, and it’s sat in my mind this entire weekend. Having seen my victories and struggles for years now, she asked me, “is it worth it?” When I asked her what part she was referring to, she replied, “all of it.” My first reaction was swift and instantaneous. Yes. Absolutely. But I know that, deep down, her question wasn’t one asked just in passing. She wanted to understand why and how this lifestyle is worth it.
Some days and weeks are mixed bags of emotions. More and more, I find myself coming up roses, but there are some days like yesterday where balance is nowhere to be found. Perhaps it’s the fact that I stayed up a bit later to enjoy some quality “me” time. Or, perhaps it’s the fact that after a busy Saturday, Sunday was simply bound to be a little harder and a little more taxing. Even on those days though, I don’t have to ask myself – is it worth it? I just know. Yes. Absolutely.
The ice cream for lunch with little beans – just because.
The stretch marks, the loose skin, the body that’s become both foreign and familiar to me in creating our family.
Parenting three little humans solo while juggling different moods, feelings, needs, wants, and wishes.
Spending Saturday evenings with friends who understand the struggle of doing it alone while missing your solider.
The early morning swim lessons, getting ready for church and school, gymnastics, and more, all while juggling three.
The endless loads of laundry, spit-up, and constant smell of milk hovering around you.
Finding things that have been missing for two moves after you’ve already replaced them.
The anger and frustration of a little one missing his daddy that overflows, causing him to lash out and snap.
Canceling big plans in favor of a simple bike ride with little ones.
Snuggling three little humans on a couch, knowing that we’re on the back half of a long deployment, and it will end.
The days are long here, but the years are short, and that never escapes me. I married Ryan knowing the reality of Army life. It’s tough, but I’m tougher, and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I think my point is that it’s never even once entered my mind to think about whether or not it’s worthwhile. Every trial, tribulation, and hardship we’ve faced as a family has been faced together. So, is it worth it?