5 on friday: doing things that scare me

Happy Friday, folks! I feel like the weeks are flying be lately, and though this deployment feels eternal at times, the clock keeps ticking, and we’re excited for another weekend ahead. Though I hit a wall a couple weeks ago, I feel as though we’ve turned a corner now, and I have a second wind propelling me ahead for the time being. I know it will come in waves, but for now, I’m relishing this zest and zeal and tackling the task(s) at hand with fresh eyes.

One of the biggest themes of this year – not to mention this deployment – has been doing things that scare me; seeing them, identifying them, and conquering them. From the minutiae of every day life to big goals, I’m working hard, and I’m learning to use those fears as soul fuel to keep going and push harder. So, in the spirit of doing things that scare me, I’m laying it all out on the table today and sharing what’s on my heart, on my mind, and on my agenda for the coming months and the rest of the year.

Heading out of town for the weekend – Next weekend, the kiddos, our sweet teacher and friend, Sierra, and I are headed to Portland, OR for a university friend’s wedding, and I couldn’t be more excited. Or terrified. This is the first time I’ll be packing all three kiddos into the car and heading to a hotel for the night out of town. Out of our comfort zone. Mieke’s going to have her first night in a pack and play away from the silence of her crib. The boys will be bouncing off the walls with excitement. It’s either a recipe for disaster or a grand adventure. I can’t choose which, but I’m so glad Sierra is coming along!

Running 5 miles straight – I know, this might seem silly since I ran a marathon in 2017. However, this will be the longest distance I’ve run in over a year – since my MPFL reconstruction last March. I struggled with muscle atrophy, weakness, and scar tissue, then my ligaments stretched again during my pregnancy though, thankfully, not as badly as before. Slowly but surely, I’m getting the miles on my legs, and this is a big step in this year’s marathon training.

Potty training solo – I’ve mentioned before that Porter has been a hellacious little turd in terms of potty training. This little boy has a will a million miles wide, and a host of medical issues has kept him either under the weather or cranky enough that he hasn’t wanted to try. Yesterday, however, he requested to wear underwear for the first time in a while. Since our last attempt, I took a step back and decided to let him lead the way. With only one accident yesterday and plenty of praise, we’re trying this again.

Freelancing more under my own name – I have a full-time writing job, and I routinely freelance through upwork, a freelance website that connects companies with individuals who meet their desired skillset for certain tasks. I made big goals this year though. I wanted to freelance and publish articles under my own name. I also wanted to start the daunting task of writing and submitting pieces for print publication. In terms of doing things that scare me, this is high on the list. I’m letting the fear fuel me though, and I’m trudging ahead doggedly towards my goals, lofty though they may be.

Sharing more, caring less – What do I mean? This is the first year I’ve actually started sharing my blog with my own friend circles. For the longest time, I cultivated and curated my content without sharing it publicly to those I knew personally. Why? Fear. Plain and simple. I feared judgment, ridicule, teasing…all of it. Putting that first post on my personal Facebook was terrifying, but it’s also been cathartic because it’s opened a world of conversations and connections. Above and beyond that, knowing others can relate and share their own insight has been cathartic, as well.

Doing things that scare me is good. It’s where growth begins, and I have a lot of learning and growing to do as a wife, a mother, an entrepreneur, and a writer. Most of all though, it’s exciting. Terrifying, but exciting. So, cheers to a weekend of being bold, taking risks, and making the best out of everything.