First and foremost, I want to sincerely thank all of you for your sweet thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes on my last post about Stella. These last few weeks have been unfathomably hard and, in fact, I don’t think I realized it until we laid her to rest just how chaotic things had truly been. Deployments are always hard when you’re parenting solo, but add in an extra and unexpected element, and your nerves are certain to be frayed. Add in the fact that Porter had a second surgery scheduled for Friday, and I knew we needed a low-key healing weekend.
I learned during our last deployment that staying busy is the best way to make time fly. However, mending an aching heart, a recovering toddler, and continuing to keep a both a baby and little boy content requires less exertion and more consistency. And so, rather than planning a day trip somewhere, I didn’t set any plans this past weekend. Instead, we spent the weekend together. Healing. Breathing. Refueling.
It’s crazy to think how a tiny little eight pound cat can leave such a gaping void in the house, but goodness, she does. These walls are a little less lively without her, and the boys keep asking when she’ll come home from the kitty doctor. So, we spent the weekend learning home with one less family member, all the while indulging Porter in popsicles, love, and plenty of rest. It was much-needed.
Friends visited with sweet well-wishes and warm meals. We ventured to the store. We even made it to the playground and had an impromptu and unfussy playdate. In the conclusion of the storm we weathered the last few weeks, we found calm, and we found peace in the simplicity of a healing weekend together.
This deployment is winding down, and I find myself wanting to cram the most we possibly can in the coming weeks before Ryan’s return. While, yes, we’ll have plenty of adventures when he gets back, I’ve come to learn there’s also a sort of beauty in these chaotic days of just the kids and I. We’ve become our own little team, and I almost want to challenge myself to get out. Do it. See it. Conquer it. I remember during Ryan’s deployment, I felt like everything happened to me. I let it break me, and my mindset was completely wrong. To be fair, we had a lot more trials, but there were different hardships this time, and we weather them differently. Instead of deployment happening to me, I’m making things happen for me and for us.
But, while I like to be on the go, sometimes a healing weekend is all we need. It was one of simplicity, in which cuddles were just what the doctor ordered. Moments where we cheered on little miss who’s finally decided that tummy time be damned, she’s going to roll over. Tiny excursions for fresh air at the playground to soak up sunshine. Nothing elaborate, nothing forced. Just healing.