Cheers to another Friday, my friends, though I’ll admit that my “cheers” ring a little hollow this week. I think I can speak to just about everyone in the world – and especially the US right now – 2020 has been a year thus far…and we’re not even halfway through the year. Nevertheless, we’ve entered the sixth month of the year, and I’m still over here wracking my brain as to why people wished 2019 away because 2020 has been a literal dumpster fire. Come on; you know you’ve seen the meme of the 2020 commemorative candle in dumpster form. Right? No? Google it. Then get ready because it’s time for the June edition of “Currently.”
For those who’ve followed my blog for some time, you likely know about this feature from Anne in Residence by now. I’ve been joining in the past few months, and I love it because it very succinctly emphasizes life in your neck of the woods, how you’re feeling, and what’s going on. Those are fun things to dive into, especially if you’re newer visitor just getting started. I’ll be honest. Things have been decidedly less jovial lately and deservedly so. I adjusted course on my blog a bit this week because I felt (and feel) it’s important to use my little platform as a small form of advocacy from my tiny corner on the interwebs. If you missed my last post, I shared 8 books to help parents of young children start discussions about racism and diversity. Today, I’m going a little more personal with the June edition of “Currently,” and I hope you’ll jump in, too.
Currently: The June Edition
Feeling // Guys, I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I feel all the emotions lately. My heart has teetered between exhausted, desperately sad, and angry all week, and that’s solely over the recent racial climate in our nation. I’ve learned a lot of things about myself this week, not the least of which is that I need to continue to voice the lessons my children need to learn, rather than simply assume they’ll pick them up as they go. I also need to be less afraid of using my voice because people may not like it. Frankly, if someone doesn’t like it, I’m not sure we’re supposed to be friends anyway – at least not about this. You know? Needless to say, it’s been a barrage of relentless emotions, and I think I can comfortably say I just feel tired. Tired of anger, tired of hate, tired of a society that continues to go in the same destructive circles. I hope we can change.
Wearing // Fabletics all day every day. I pretty much live in workout gear now because, as of right now, we still don’t have daycare, Pierce County is still in Phase 1, and I just don’t see the point. That said, I did put on jeans last night to take the boys to Thurston County, which is in Phase 2, for haircuts. All I’m willing to say is that my jeans are a bit snug and, therefore, we are no longer friends anymore. It was worth it though…look at these before and after shots of the boys!
Buying // We’ve been pretty good lately. Not eating out, spending most days at home, and generally being quarantined has definitely minimized the impact on our budget, and that’s saying something considering I was laid off almost two months ago. I am, however, beginning to buy a new summer wardrobe for the kids because Mieke’s getting too big for her 12-month clothes, and Spencer’s pushing out of his 5T clothes (cue tears). Other than that, I’m doing my best to invest the money where it counts – projects and busywork.
Craving // Honestly? All I crave these days is normalcy. I don’t really know what normal is anymore, and I’m not even sure I want what normal was before all of this, but I miss normal. Ryan’s TDY right now for a short while, and adjusting to these short stints is hell. I’ll admit, too, that my mental health has taken a hit lately, and I’ve struggled between the reality that we have another year at JBLM, normal isn’t normal anymore, and just constant anxiety. So, yes. I crave normalcy.
Discussing // My kids and I have really been discussing kindness, privilege, and empathy lately. It’s something that both of them embody already, but it’s also something I want to foster in them. We’ve been taking about recent events, why protests happen, and how we need to work to be slow to anger and quick to forgiveness as individuals (speaking for ourselves, of course). Ryan and I have been talking a lot about the future, really; what we want, where we hope to go next, what’s in store for us. These are all big, extra weighty things, so yeah…see tired from my answer to the first prompt.
Does anyone feel like a broken record when they say or hear “what a weird month?” At this point, let’s just call 2020 a weird year. Right? Regardless of my ramblings here today though, I want you all to know I’m sending out a million virtual hugs wherever you are. I hope you’re staying safe, I hope your hearts are healing, and I hope normal is starting to turn in the right direction in some way, shape, or form. I hope and pray that, like a phoenix, from the ashes a new wave of respect, equality, kindness, and love will rise from all this hurt.