living life in limbo

living life in limbo

Oof. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t all in my feels today. Part of it is my business and the reality of shifting from a busy market in South Korea to nearly crickets here in Alaska. Part of it is waiting on our belongings to arrive (tomorrow!). Part of it is just the reality of change and living life in limbo for months at a time. We’re getting settled slowly but surely, but goodness. This season is hard.

The Military and Living Life in Limbo

Our kids have weathered this move like absolute champions. Certain elements have been harder than others, of course, but for the most part, they’re just trucking along and doing it well. They seem to thrive with change, and I love that about them. Yes, they miss their friends, but they seem content and comfortable in the knowledge that “goodbye” in the military isn’t forever.

I, however, have been somewhere between put together and an absolute wreck on any given day. Some days, I miss South Korea so much that it hurts. I think about the friends we made, the incredible culture, and the opportunities we had, and I tear up at the knowledge that that was just a small chapter in our lives. Then, I find myself drowning in gratitude for the opportunity to live here in Alaska, knowing full well what an absolute blessing it is to live here in this state. It’s something we prayed for, and we’re so grateful.

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Gratitude, Loss, and the Reality of Change

There is always a feeling of displacement that comes with a military move. It’s the reality of change – especially a huge change like picking up your life and moving around the world. I’m slowly learning that these feelings don’t cancel each other out though, and that’s okay.

You can be grateful and mourn at the same time.

You can feel immeasurably blessed to experience new things and miss the consistency and comfort of the last chapter at the same time.

You can be excited and fearful at the same time.

One does negate the other.

I’m hopeful that as we delve deeper into this season, we’ll find comfort in the reality of this change. I’m hopeful that as we find a home in our church family and our community, we’ll feel uplifted and comfortable that this place, here and now is home. I wish I could say that everything about this move has been beautiful and exciting, but the truth is we’re somewhere between overwhelmed and overjoyed at any given moment, and that’s okay.